Identity
by medicalfanatic
Summary: When Nurse Colette Sheward, Guy Self and Dr. Ollie Valentine each see Dr. Zosia March, what goes through their mind? And what do they see? (Reviews greatly appreciated!)
1. Ollie

Hello! This idea came to me after watching this weeks Holby (19/01/16) and seeing how everyone had different opinions on Hanssen. I love Zosia and think she is extraordinary (and Camilla is absolutely stunning), and I really enjoyed exploring what I fell other people think of her. Hopefully, if i think of anyone else to do, I can add some more opinions, so follow to keep up to date! As always, I'd really appreciate any reviews/favourites/follows :) x

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 **Ollie**

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Sitting at the Darwin front desk, Dr. Oliver Valentine's ultramarine eyes followed Dr. Zosia March as she stepped out of the lift. Windswept brunette hair adorned her form - Ollie loved seeing her in the morning, so fresh-faced and happy. His heart swelled when she shot him a wide grin. In fact, since she had got her bipolar under control, Ollie noticed always noticed a radiant smile playing upon her rose lips.

Slowly, Ollie had seen the F2's metamorphosis into a brilliant, confident doctor - whilst her heart wasn't completely healed, she had finally accepted her mother's death and had stopped blaming herself. When she first started at the hospital, some days Ollie saw nothing but an empty shell of a woman in her place; she would perform every medical task set to her, but with no real passion or desire. Barely any emotion hid in those hazel eyes. But nowadays, she walked with a bounce in her step. Her happiness and love for her job and those around her didn't need to be verbally communicated - anyone close to the F2 could feel it in the air. Zosia's eyes glimmered with a burning fire. Eagerly, she completed any job that needed doing, no longer the sorrowful doctor she once was.

Suddenly, through the gaps in the blinds, the observant doctor spotted movement in the staff room. Zosia was moving about, getting changed into her scrubs. He could see her scrutinising herself in the mirror. Ollie could never understand why such a beautiful and stunning woman was always so self-conscious. She hid it behind a knowing and confident façade, but Ollie saw right through into the unsure, damaged woman inside. As long as Ollie had known the younger doctor, she had been resoundingly private, always preferring to dodge any personal questions. The surgeon smiled fondly and returned his attention back to Dr. March. He liked to think he saw her true self. Perhaps that's a bit egotistical - for all Ollie knew, he could not know her at all. But what he did know is that he definitely didn't see Zosia how she saw herself.

A vivid memory etched into Dr. Oliver Valentine's memory was when the junior doctor first walked onto the wards. She had come up from Keller, and arrived on Darwin to be mentored by no other than Elliot Hope. He pictured her first walking in - as soon as she arrived on the ward, she introduced herself quietly but enraptured the whole ward, even though many didn't know her. Junior doctors in her position could barely keep the attention of their mentors, let alone command a room like Zosia could. Even Jac looked around to get a good look at Dr. March. Quick as lightening, Zosia picked up the nearest patient file and purposefully walked off, seemingly oblivious to her effect on everyone around her. But Ollie would always remember the way she could charge a room full of people. Sometimes, his blue eyes would meet her cocoa eyes, and a shiver would run down Ollie's spine. In fact, Zosia was electrifying to the older doctor.

Occasionally, Zosia let her guard down when she was with Ollie. He hoped that she was finally feeling comfortable around him, because he knew what a private and guarded woman she could be. Don't be mistaken - she was very friendly and would happily go out with drinks with people like Mo and Johnny, but it was extremely rare for the junior doctor to allow someone inside her mind. Dr. Valentine was well aware of her countless nights out and one night stands; before she was put on her bipolar medication, it wasn't an unusual sight to see her after work, around the back of the hospital. Zosia would often be seen absent mindedly chain-smoking packs of cigarettes, cradling a half-empty bottle of whisky, or ferociously kissing a young nurse from another ward. In fact, she didn't really care about the distraction - alcohol, drugs, cigarettes or short love affairs with either gender, as long as they kept her mind off the heart-wrenching grief eating away inside her. For years, this emotional turmoil raging war inside Zosia's mind threatened to swallow her whole, until she finally came to terms with what had happened in her life and learnt to forgive Guy for something that was never in his control.

Truthfully, Ollie didn't see pity, or sadness, or even privacy when he looked at Dr. Zosia March. Instead, he saw passion, devotion, an unparalled compassion, kindness and a capability to love without doubt behind those deep hazel eyes. His only wish was that the world could look upon Zosia and see this same inner beauty, instead of seeing the obvious privacy and unwillingness to trust anyone with her heart.


	2. Guy

**Guy**

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Holding the thick portfolio in his weathered hands, Guy sat down and stared proudly down at the author's name.

'Dr. Zosia March'. His daughter. She was the best and most precious person to him in the world. It was definitely fair to say that they they'd had their fair share of ups and downs, but he knew that it wouldn't be soon before the young doctor had forgiven him for what had happened. Finally, Guy had begun to accept that the cancer that had taken his wife, Zosia's mother, away from him too early was not his fault. Everyday, he awoke to a cold, lonely house and there was never anyone to look forward to seeing once he got home, but Guy had slowly allowed himself to grieve instead of fell guilty. When he looked in his daughter's eyes, he recognised the look of sadness and hopelessness in her beautiful eyes, and it physically hurt him to know he could do nothing about it. Leaving Zosia to grieve independently was the hardest thing Guy had ever had to do - every instinct told him to protect Zosia and to never let her go. If she wasn't so determined and strong, he may've succumbed to these urges, but looking down at her ever-growing portfolio of successful surgery examples, he knew she would overcome these emotions.

From his long medical experience, Guy knew mental illness was quite prominent after the death of a loved one, especially if the death in question was traumatic. Therefore, he wasn't surprised to hear of Zosia's bipolar. His own depression and alcohol addiction seemed inevitable to the senior neurosurgeon. Tears welled in his ice blue eyes as he remembered the state he was in after his wife died. It was over 10 years ago but Guy could still remember it like it was yesterday. In his mind, he pictured the disbelief in his daughter's eyes when she first found out about her mother's death; before Guy knew it, her eyes flooded with desolation and there was nothing he could do to stop it. Despite his best efforts, for the next decade, Zosia trod water; any ambitions cut short by her grief, the junior doctor got by and passed her exams easily, but the excitement and passion for everything she used to love was all gone.

Yet nowadays, her eyes shone brighter - in Guy's opinion, she had finally got her spark back. Perhaps she would never be whole again, as when her mother had died, Guy felt like a part of Zosia had died too. The two women were so similar in both their looks and mannerisms, therefore when the cancer killed her, it also killed a part of Zosia. Finally, the senior neurosurgeon felt like he got his beloved daughter back, and he couldn't be happier. Nothing made him prouder that spotting her walking on Darwin, chatting with Ollie and wearing her scrubs, that beautiful smile back on her face.


	3. Colette

**Colette**

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Mahogany tresses tumbled down her back as she leant against the table, arms crossed. Gold and orange streaks of early morning sunrise streamed through the open windows, the breeze making her loose blouse wave slightly. It was 5:30AM, and the Director of Nursing Colette Sheward was alone in Holby. The few working the night-shift were moving about the hospital, but for the most part it remained empty (bar the sleeping patients obviously). She loved being in Holby at this time, as she could remain alone with her thoughts just before the hectic night-day handover began. Absent-mindedly glancing out into the barren car park, her eyes were drawn to movement by the doors. Colette watched Dr. Zosia March stride into work, holding a steaming coffee.

Colette knew Zosia's father, Guy Self, very well as they had been friends for well over 2 decades. But she had been best friends with Guy's wife for even longer. Therefore, she also knew and loved Zosia and when Zosia's mother died from cancer, Colette was heartbroken. She loved that woman like a sister, and felt responsible for holding the family together; but by looking at Guy and Zosia's fragmented relationship, she thought she hadn't done a great job. Returning her thoughts back to the junior doctor, Colette smiled proudly. She couldn't help but feel immensely happy when she thought of what Zosia had achieved, especially with all the turmoil in her life. The nurse loved Zosia greatly and knew that as long as she was working at Holby, would feel personally responsible for Guy Self's daughter.

Whenever Colette talked to Zosia' she could see so much depth behind those copper eyes. Intelligence and wisdom, far beyond her young years. Passion, honesty and compassion hid behind her private, distanced demeanour, but Zosia always trusted Colette enough to be herself around her. Zosia remained footloose and fancy free in order to simplify her life and the nurse couldn't help but respect this ambition and drive. Colette sometimes saw so much of her best friend in Zosia that it felt like looking at a younger ghost.

Shaking her head, Colette returned to her work, a reminiscent smile still dancing on her rosy lips.


End file.
